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For some, the holidays and winter months bring more isolation than cheer. The cold months test both body and mind, and survival can depend on more than just firewood and food. Here’s how to protect your mental health when darker months close in.
The first Christmas I spent alone wasn’t in a snow- bound cabin or a remote survival shelter but rather a quiet night alone in my own home. I was on call for emergency mental health crises for my area, while my spouse visited family. I couldn’t travel with her. Outside, the streets were empty, the air dry and sharp, and the sky clouded with that dark “winter gray” that seems to hover from November to March in some states. It was sprinkling wet, fluffy snow, something I would have loved to enjoy with my wife, but, instead, it only deepened my sense of isolation.
Inside, I fought the creeping weight of loneliness with every skill I’d taught my patients. I reminded myself why I’d volunteered for this shift: my coworkers had young children, and I wasn’t going to deprive those kids of Christmas with their parents. But the truth was, the silence pressed in like a heavy snowfall, and I desperately longed for the comfort of loved ones. That same mental battle plays out in survival situations every winter, whether you’re snowed in, cut off from loved ones, or facing the long nights alone in the backcountry.
The Holiday Blues
Holidays are usually thought of as times of bright cheer, sharing food and laughs with family, watching children open gifts, and celebrating one’s faith. But for some it can be the exact opposite. In the mental health field, we see a spike in depression, and sometimes, people end their own lives. There are many contributing factors. We know the darkest and longest nights are in December and January, peaking on December 21. The winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. Less sunlight has a direct impact on mood. Sunlight is critical for serotonin production, regulating circadian rhythms (sleep), and stimulating the regions of the brain involved in emotion and reward. Now you know why all therapists preach “get outside and walk at least 30 minutes per day!”
Additionally, people who have lost loved ones often feel it more acutely during the winter holidays because of constant reminders of love, family and companionship on television, radio, and billboards. It’s a trigger for some that can’t be ignored. Speaking of companionship, have you ever noticed how many contestants on Alone end up tapping out due to the mental strain of missing loved ones? Despite the lone cowboy fantasy in survivalism, humans did not evolve to live in isolation. In my field, there have been numerous studies linking isolation to mental deterioration, depression, hallucinations, and even memory loss. Despite the fantasy, very few would last long living alone in the wilderness. We are more like pack animals than solitary creatures.
My father was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne. In the early 1960s, he was assigned to a unit to be trained for Arctic survival. There are preps that must be made in advance for such an expedition, and these must be acquired in advance. There is also the need for an improvisational mindset, as things don’t always go according to plan. The same is true for all of us trying to survive the emotional toll of dark winter months, grieving during the holidays, or, simply, loneliness.
Not Just “SAD”
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is also common, and likely underdiagnosed. It is a form of depression that follows a seasonal pattern. Symptoms usually begin late fall, and ease in the spring. (Note: there is a summer-pattern SAD as well, but it is much less common.) People who struggle with SAD will experience more days of “low mood,” less interest in things they usually enjoy, fatigue, mental fog, changes in appetite, sleep disruptions, and, in severe cases, thoughts of self-harm.
If you have thoughts about self-harm and difficulty stopping those thoughts, it is important to seek help. A therapist, a pastor, a close friend … tell someone how you are feeling. And, in most of the United States, 988 is now operational as a 24/7 Mental Health Hotline. Even during the holidays, you should be able to reach an empathetic ear from a trained mental health professional. Asking for help is not weakness; it is bravery. I have worked with some of the strongest, hardest men and women in the military and first responder worlds, and it is a courageous act to seek help. You matter.
Just as mental preparation is critical, so too are the physical lessons of survival my father passed down to me. When he taught me about Arctic survival, he spoke of long nights in Alaska, and a darkness so deep that even the glow of a cigarette ember could be seen from far away. To prepare for their expedition, the men of his unit trained with local indigenous people. These men taught the soldiers about taking care of their sled dogs, and that on the coldest of nights, they slept with them for shared body warmth. The military also provided survival school instruction from Green Berets who taught the paratroopers that they needed to change their socks every two hours, as even moisture from marching could trigger frostbite. This was part of their preps.
What preps might be needed for surviving a long, cold winter? Or a holiday alone? If you know in advance that the holidays might be challenging for you, or the winter in general, there are steps you can take to prepare.
Since diminished sunlight is a known contributor, it is even more imperative to get that exposure when we can. If possible, consider opening window shades during the day. Let in as much natural light as possible. Go outside during the middle of the day, when the sun is at its peak. If you are at risk for certain skin conditions, take whatever precautions your doctor recommends; wide-brimmed hat, UV sunglasses, sunscreen, etc. Try to get that exposure to fresh air and natural sunlight, even if it feels as cold as an Alaskan winter, for 20 to 30 minutes if possible. In the absence of that, your doctor may even recommend a special sunlamp to use for 20 minutes per day.
Exercise becomes even more important during the winter months and holidays. Many are less active during these times, and we also tend to eat more sweets during the holidays, compounding health issues. There is a direct connection between healthy bodies and healthy minds. Good nutrition and physical activity are both needed for stimulation of the mood-balancing neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine. The Alaskan indigenous peoples, including the Inupiat, Yup’ik, and Athabascan, stay active during the dark winter months by developing a love for outdoor activities, such as mushing (dog sledding).
This can be a good excuse to treat yourself to some quality winter gear that will improve your motivation to get outside and move. I’m a fan of the Baerskin Tactical Hoodie, and who doesn’t appreciate a pair of good hiking boots? Investing in gear that keeps you moving is as important as stocking up on food and firewood. Why not buy yourself a holiday gift? Wrap it up and put it under the tree if you’ll be spending the holidays alone, and open it on the holiday of your choice.
What about isolation? As mentioned above, this is one of the biggest factors affecting mental health during the holidays and winter in general. If you are prone to loneliness or maybe you have lost a loved one, consider volunteering at a local shelter or church. Connecting with others in this way can help fill your heart and curb the loneliness while also assisting others. If you have to work, such as in my example, consider video calling your family or friends and participating remotely. Even a brief online connection with someone can help during these challenging moments.
Having some plan to stay distracted can also be helpful. In Alaska, my father had orders to follow, tasks to complete, marches to march. A busy mind is a healthy mind. If you know that the holidays are going to be difficult for you, consider planning in advance how you would like to spend that day. Are there projects you have been procrastinating at home? Get what you need in advance and stay busy. Clean out that prepper pantry, reorganize your bug-out bag, sharpen your favorite bushcraft knife. Staying occupied can help. Simply staring out the window and missing your family can make the nights feel even longer and lonelier.
Adapting and Improvising
During his training in Alaska, many men ended up with severe medical issues from frostbite to hypothermia. Food supplies dwindled, making it even harder for the unit to stay warm and motivated. My father told me that those who made it through the entire training had to resist the urge to skip little steps that they were instructed to do, such as changing their socks every two hours. The soldiers had to sleep closer together in minus 34-degree temperatures. Mindset matters as much as gear and training when humans are pushed to the extremes.
We can use humor, reward ourselves, practice gratitude, celebrate small accomplishments as ways to stimulate the brain and curb depressive thoughts. For many, prayer and faith can get them through dark moments when the urge to stay in bed and hibernate becomes strong. For those who live alone, a pet can help stave off the isolation and loneliness. Journaling and creating art can be helpful for stimulating the mood-regulating areas of the brain. Recently, I started experimenting with wood carving. After all, I am a knife collector and hardly need another reason to practice with my tools.
For my patients who are grieving during the holidays, I often encourage them to try to sit with the emotions of grief in small, controlled increments. Numbing out with alcohol will only postpone the grieving process. You can’t drown out grief; intoxication only delays the inevitable. In the field of therapy, there is one known constant for grief: “We must feel it to heal it.” It is normal to have moments of anger, sadness, guilt, and denial during grief. And it is normal to feel these emotions even more intensely during holidays. But we can control this by allowing moments for incremental grieving.
We do this by remembering, not trying to ignore those memories. Try to focus on the happier moments shared, retell funny stories of your loved ones. Rituals such as lighting a candle or putting a loved one’s picture up on the mantel can help to honor them and give space to allow the incremental “feeling” of grief. When we lose a loved one, we never fully heal, but we can learn to move through it and find ways to continue honoring them by living our best life.
Even the Darkest Night Must Yield to Sunrise
Survival is not always about eating a squirrel over a campfire, deep in the wilderness. Survival is about mentally meeting the challenges day to day, even when getting out of bed feels impossible. It is also about recognizing that we all need connection and empathy, that reaching out for help is not weakness but strength.
Remember, there are seasons in life, and even dark winters eventually end. What feels like an insurmountable march through a winter storm today will become tomorrow’s memory. One you may look back on with pride for having overcome. I hope your winter, and your holidays, are filled with warm fires, soft snow, and laughter shared with someone. Take care of your mental health — it matters.
About the Author
Tom Sarge is a licensed trauma therapist who works with first responders and veterans. He is also a prepper, survivalist, and content creator. He has been featured on numerous podcasts and in print. You can find him on the YouTube Channels: Prepping With Sarge (@PreppingWithSarge), and The Official Mental Health Matters Channel (@OfficialMentalHealthMatters).
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Editor’s Note: This article has been modified from its original version for the web.