At first glance, the training near Vero Beach, Florida, looked like a straightforward tactical course. It was hosted by Gorilla Ammunition, a company better known for precision cartridges than emotional insight. Yet beneath the surface of its trauma drills and field exercises, something deeper took shape. The lessons were not only about how to save a life, but also how to regulate one’s own nervous system under threat. What unfolded resembled a form of therapy in motion, a physical and cognitive practice that echoed the principles of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or EMDR.
EMDR is a therapy developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro. It helps people process disturbing experiences by combining focused attention with bilateral movement, such as eye motions, taps, or alternating tones. The technique activates both hemispheres of the brain, linking stored sensory fragments into coherent understanding. Over time, this process allows the body to stop reacting as if a past trauma were happening in the present. The training near Vero Beach would explore similar ground through entirely different means.
The chaos of a traumatic scene was imitated by overwhelming the senses.
Day One: Stabilization in Motion
The first day began inside Gorilla Ammunition’s headquarters and was taught by Gorilla Medical instructors Kris Hasenauer, Mandy Espinal, and Scott Adams. The focus was Tactical Combat Casualty Care, or TCCC, the military’s standard for treating injuries under fire. Its civilian counterpart, TECC, adapts those methods for emergencies where evacuation is close at hand. Both systems were born from lessons learned in Mogadishu during the 1993 Black Hawk Down incident, when soldiers bled out from otherwise survivable wounds. Modern battlefield medicine has since revolved around one goal: preventing avoidable deaths.
Instructors led students through the three phases of trauma care:
1) Direct Threat Care meant getting to safety and controlling massive hemorrhage.
2) Indirect Threat Care involved assessing injuries using the MARCH protocol: Massive hemorrhage, Airway, Respiration, Circulation, and Head injury/Hypothermia.
3) Evacuation Care focused on continued monitoring and shock prevention.
After hours of discussion and hands-on training, the class moved outside into the dense humidity of Florida to apply what they had learned.
Tourniquets, wound packing, and communication drills followed. The repetition built a rhythm that anchored participants in the moment. It was a rehearsal for composure, a physical act of self-regulation. Every step reinforced the same pattern: control chaos, establish safety, and then engage in treatment. The process mirrored the first phases of EMDR, which emphasize grounding and stabilization before confronting deeper distress. Whether the subject is a traumatic memory or a simulated gunfight, the nervous system cannot process what it cannot survive.
While obscured by blue smoke, participants needed to stabilize life-threatening wounds before moving their patients to a safer location.
As the heat of the day rose, the class performed a relay under stress. Teams carried teammates with simulated injuries, treated simulated wounds, and moved together through timed objectives. The noise, motion, and pressure triggered adrenaline, but the structure of the exercise demanded calm. The brain oscillated between chaos and control, the same alternating focus that EMDR uses to integrate emotion and logic. Order, it turned out, was its own kind of medicine.
Day Two: Learning to See
The next morning, the group met at an overgrown orange grove that doubled as one of Gorilla Ammunition’s training ranges. The air smelled faintly of fresh rain and damp soil. Freddy Osuna of Greenside Training introduced the art of tracking, the ability to read subtle signs of movement in nature. Unbeknownst to the students, his approach was blending fieldcraft with cognitive science. Tracking, he said, was not about looking for footprints. It was about learning to see.
The nail-trail is a tracking drill used to imprint the shape of a track into the mind.
Students studied how the edges of a hoofprint could indicate motion and direction, how soil displacement revealed urgency, and how crushed vegetation betrayed presence. They practiced shifting points of view and allowing peripheral vision to widen. Tracking required the same state of awareness that EMDR encourages, not forcing an answer but observing what appears. As participants relaxed their focus, patterns emerged where none had previously seemed to exist.
In one exercise, Osuna walked a short path, leaving small nails pressed into the dirt behind each heel. Students were then asked to count how many steps there were based on their own observation skills. The first few nails were easy, the rest appeared only when the eyes softened and the mind quieted. The drill trained perception through patience and trust, a process remarkably similar to how EMDR clients notice the fragments of memory that surface once the body feels safe enough to see them.
Several important nuances of animal tracking were discussed before moving on to man tracking.
This stage of the course resembled EMDR’s reprocessing phase. Participants gathered sensory data from a complex environment, linked it to context, and allowed insight to emerge.
Day Three: The Hunt and the Mind
The final day took place in a slash pine stand, its floor still saturated from days of heavy rain. This final exercise involved hunting Gorilla Medical instructor Scott Adams. Scott acted as an opposing force, moving and attempting to hide somewhere in the wet forest. The teams moved in slow coordination, scanning for broken branches, disturbed earth, or faint movement. Subtle environmental manipulations — distant sounds, shifting scents — kept everyone alert. After hours of tracking, the teams located and neutralized their target.
Freddy Osuna demonstrates several ways to manipulate light in order to get the most vivid look at a track.
Psychologically, the exercise completed a cycle that mirrored EMDR’s adaptive sequence. Day one established stabilization and safety. Day two expanded sensory and cognitive flexibility. Day three integrated the previous two into embodied awareness under pressure. Each layer engaged the same circuitry that therapy seeks to retrain, the shift from reactive survival to measured response.
From Chaos to Coherence
In Shapiro’s model of adaptive processing, the brain’s goal is to transform experience into learning. When trauma interrupts that process, memories remain locked in a state of alarm. Reprocessing allows those memories to econnect with healthier networks, so the body no longer treats them as threats. The Vero Beach training worked on this same principle, though in a different language. Movement, focus, and environment combined to teach the nervous system regulation through experience.
Students learned important factors to consider when deciding whether or not a canine track is wild or domestic.
Tracking used bilateral engagement — left foot, right foot, left eye, right eye — to restore rhythm. Trauma care demanded structured breathing and decision-making under duress. Both reinforced balance between perception and action. The body learned that it could stay grounded even while facing uncertainty.
Learning tracking skills can be overwhelming at first. Osuna helps students navigate those frustrations with expert guidance.
By the end, exhaustion gave way to quiet reflection. What began as tactical instruction evolved into an exercise in emotional control. True composure is not dominance but awareness. Survival, whether physical or psychological, depends as much on calm attention as on force or equipment.
Final Thoughts
The link between field training and therapy might seem coincidental, but both share a foundation in biology. The human brain seeks equilibrium through movement, rhythm, and sensory integration. When a person tracks a print in the sand or applies steady pressure to stop bleeding, the same neural systems that process trauma are engaged. Awareness, not avoidance, resolves threat.
Nature supports that healing instinct. The Florida wilderness offered constant sensory complexity. The scent of pine and soil, the shimmer of light through leaves, the hum of insects after rain. Immersed in it, the participants’ minds recalibrated without even realizing it was happening. What EMDR achieves through structured bilateral movement, the natural world offers through balance and attention. Both guide the brain from reflex to reflection, from reactivity to presence.
This overgrown orange grove is full of wildlife and human activity. Perfect for a day of honing tracking skills.
The Vero Beach course revealed that therapy does not always look like therapy. Sometimes it takes the shape of a tourniquet drill, a quiet walk in wet woods, or the patient search for a single track in the dirt. Beneath every tactical lesson was an unspoken one, how to steady the mind, how to stay human in the presence of fear, and how to track not only an adversary but also oneself.
Travel today, to just about anywhere in the world, is accessible to most. But the risks involved in travel, especially for the international traveler, are many. However, taking a few precautions and developing a security minded lifestyle can make your journey safe and enjoyable. When considering international travel these days, applying the lessons learned and countermeasures I used as a special agent will help keep you return with enjoyable memories.
Prior to travel, always make sure you are fit to do so. Having a clean bill of health and more than enough prescriptions (if necessary) is a foundation level prep. Always anticipate being delayed while traveling and carry the provisions necessary to get you home without missing a beat. Never pack prescriptions in checked luggage, they need to be in a carry-on bag. Prescriptions should be in the original packaging with your name and prescriber visible.
Having a physical and dental checkup completed before you travel is a smart idea. Do this even if you are feeling well. Ensure you are immunized for the region you plan to visit, and have those immunizations documented on an international immunization card. You may or may not have internet and or have access to your cellular phone when asked for evidence of your immunizations. A shot card gives you something to hand an official along with your passport. Travel doctors specialize in these preparations.
Before traveling, you should inform your bank or credit card company you will be traveling abroad to avoid them delaying payment or canceling your card under the assumption it has been compromised, hacked, or stolen. Also consider raising your credit limit or look for a premium card with added benefits to have emergency funding if necessary.
Discovering new places and learning about different cultures is one of the most important things we can do.
Make sure you have included a good international mobile phone plan with unlimited data to avoid roaming charges. At a minimum, your mobile phone will save you time and headaches that arise over missing gate tional plans if your phone has an eSIM.
Contact your insurance company and make sure you are covered in the country you plan to visit. Keeping in mind countries with ongoing civil unrest or insurgencies may be a liability issue with your insurance company, and they may not cover you should you be injured.
If you’re traveling abroad, it’s always good to find a travel doctor who specialized in infectious diseases. They will know exactly what you will need medically for the activity you intend to participate in. They can even prescribe you medications, which might not be readily available in the country you are traveling to, and even antibiotics should you find yourself far from medical attention. Many cities have travel clinics specifically for these purposes.
Do a little research into the region you’ll be traveling to. It will make you more aware of potential landmarks to visit.
Pre-Travel Steps
Get medical/dental checkup; stock prescriptions (carry-on only)
Confirm immunizations; carry shot card
Alert bank/credit cards; raise limit if possible
Verify health/travel insurance coverage
Secure international phone/eSIM + PLB
Put legal affairs in order (passport, POA, wills)
Designate an emergency contact with valid passport
Research risks, laws, and cultural norms
Book reputable hotels/tours; use trusted transport
Build a survival kit appropriate for the region, and know how to use its contents. Include a Global Positioning System (GPS) or a PLB. These are great tools to help you “stay found” or signal for help. If you are bringing along a smartphone, consider downloading mapping apps — such as Gaia — which work even without cell service and can display traffic, satellite images as well as topographic maps. You can quickly take a picture in the app, and it will provide a pin on a map, and the coordinates, which could be used to pinpoint your location to anyone you wish to notify.
Make sure you have ways to power your devices (e.g., solar panels and or power banks, etc.). Note: Don’t leave your power banks in your luggage. Place them in your carry on or customs will seize them (a lesson learned the hard way while en-route to Colombia).
Ideally, you should also include old-school maps and compass, along with a list of important numbers back home and in country. Having a printed copy of health insurance claim forms will help if you need treatment overseas so they can pay my medical provider. A PLB is good to have in areas where kidnappings are prevalent. This should be on your body, not in a pack, so it can be activated at a moment’s notice.
Having a plan in place for potential mishaps will give you peace of mind and make the experience more enjoyable.
Preparing a region and season specific first aid kit is a good idea as well. It bears repeating: you want to include in that kit enough prescriptions/vitamins to go beyond your intended travel period, in case you are extended for any reason. Include a method of water purification if you are planning travel to remote areas. There are numerous filters on the market but keep in mind they can clog, so having water purification tablets is a smart redundancy.
Photocopy all essential credit cards and documents you intend to travel with and leave a copy at home. Make an extra copy of your passport to bring with you. Emergency cash, prescriptions and extra glasses should also be part of your get home bag. Try reading a map, threading a needle or a fishhook without one. On your smartphone, download the U.S. State Department Smart Traveler app and request alerts for the region you will be in. Check in with the U.S. Embassy as well.
If you are traveling and don’t speak the language of the region, it’s not a bad idea to purchase a phrase book and a Pointee Talkee or Kwikpoint International Translator communication aid. They are filled with illustrations useful in communicating and can be purchased from Amazon. In addition to the use of smartphone apps that translate languages. I always like to have a backup that doesn’t need the internet or power.
Pay attention to your surroundings. If a place feels unsafe, it probably is.
Pack water, airline tickets, meal replacement bars, and emergency contacts such as U.S. Embassy numbers and addresses. It’s also great to have a card translated in the local language with your name, address, next of kin, phone number, and any medical condition or allergies. This way you can get help from medical personnel without missing a beat.
Travel Insurance
A great way to protect yourself and your things is to purchase travel insurance that offers plans, not only for medical treatment, but also repatriation if you are bedridden. It will also give you peace of mind if, while traveling, you need to purchase additional tickets to complete your journey or you need to cancel your dream trip due to unforeseen events.
As a business traveler, kidnap/extortion insurance might be a consideration. However, for the average tourist this might not be an option due to high premiums. If you’re planning on traveling despite warnings to places where kidnaping is an issue it might be time to reconsider your trip. Kidnappers thrive in countries where the rule of law doesn’t exist or there are not adequate laws to deal with the problem. Mexico comes to mind, especially the border area.
Letting a trusted friend or family member know your plans could help in an emergency.
Make certain all your legal affairs are in order, such as powers of attorney, wills, healthcare proxy. Double check the expiration dates on your passport. It’s always a good idea to designate someone at home who has a valid passport and would be willing and fit to travel to help you in an emergency. This is important in the event you get detained, sick or are seriously injured or in trouble while overseas.
Know the risks you could potentially face, and have a plan in mind should there be an incident. See if the country you are traveling to has an English language online news site or radio stations. See what’s happening before you arrive. You should be looking for any civil unrest, protests, worker strikes, or economic upheavals such as their currency crashing. These things are good to know because they can pose significant risks to you while abroad.
Staying Alert
As with anywhere you go, maintaining situational awareness is critical. Lots of people have heard about situational awareness but few know that true situational awareness includes the following mindset:
Past: Where was I and what happened?
Present: Where am I now and what’s going on?
Future: Where am I going? What might happen?
This should be a lifestyle habit of thinking not just for travel. Some of the tradecraft you might employ to keep yourself and your possessions safe are:
Carrying a decoy wallet with a small amount of foreign currency in case you are robbed. It’s important to have foreign currency in the wallet rather than U.S. currency so as not to make yourself a target of violence or kidnap if they are unaware of your nationality. Preload your money and escape tools in various locations on your body so as not to lose them all if you are robbed and searched.
It’s not uncommon for criminals to kidnap and sell Americans to insurgents or terror groups operating in certain areas of the world. Stay vigilant, don’t think you are not important enough to be kidnapped. Bad guys are aware of businesses, church groups, and even GoFundMe sites that they figure people can raise money for your ransom. I once worked a kidnapping case in Haiti. The victim: a 5-year-old girl kidnapped for a $3,000 ransom. Anyone can be a victim.
Be sure to carry a laminated copy of your passport while on the street. Your original passport should be locked in a safe place until you are ready to return home or travel to your next destination. Keep in mind that in most countries, converting your U.S. currency into foreign currency will require a passport or copy. When exchanging currency, even in an airport always be conscious of your surroundings. On a trip to Israel once, I was pickpocketed inside Ben Gurion Airport, going from the baggage claim area to the money exchange counter. And losing a nice pair of expensive sunglasses in the process.
Spending time abroad will make you aware of new perspectives.
Bars, Nightclubs, and the Sex Trade
Regardless of whether you intend to participate in activity involving the sex trade, it’s important to remember that the areas where these activities take place — Red Light Districts — are high-risk areas for kidnap, rape (including men), robbery, and drugging. Most of the sex trade is run by organized crime, even in countries where the sex trade is sanctioned by the government. Sexually transmitted diseases are common, even when sex workers are regularly screened.
Surveillance by criminal elements to include corrupt police is higher in these areas and can result in being pickpocketed. Or, worse yet, being drugged, taken to an ATM, and forced to withdraw as much of your money as possible before being beaten or killed. Imagine explaining this to the wife.
The types of drugs used are typical date rape drugs to include Xanax, ketamine, gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB) and scopolamine (aka hyoscine truth serum, which renders the victim compliant). This is commonly still used in Central and South America. A prospective date might spray this in your face or from a stranger while sharing a taxi ride, hailed on the street.
Relative safety is something we take for granted in the West. Many places are not as reliable.
Recreational Drug Use Abroad
Buying drugs for personal use in a foreign country is your quickest way to being locked up abroad, either in a prison or a psychiatric hospital. Drugs, even in countries where its legal, can often be laced with other drugs or have been “stepped on” (mixed with other substances to increase bulk) with everything from animal feces to industrial or agricultural chemicals.
In some instances, unscrupulous authorities will use a drug-related incident to illicit a bribe, which may involve a lengthy detention with less-than-ideal accommodations.
Also, a purchase of a drug over the legal limit in a foreign country might be viewed as a drug trafficking violation, either in the host country or upon your return to a U.S. Port of Entry.
Having a simple understanding about local laws can go a long way. In many places, livestock animals are extremely valuable and should not be endangered or harassed.
Know the Law
Beware of laws that do not exist in the U.S. that could pose a risk of institutional detention abroad. In some cases, institutional detention (being locked up abroad) can be as bad as being held against your will by a criminal or terrorist group. Think North Korea and Russia. Examples include: knife laws, laws regarding public intoxication, religious laws, or taking pictures of government buildings or troops in public.
Remember, you are not in the U.S., and your cultural dos and don’ts do not transfer. Laws, and the corresponding punishments, can be very different. Singapore is a great example of having strict laws. A traveler could face severe punishment for something as innocuous as walking naked in your own house, which is illegal — as well as chewing gum, smoking anywhere, making noise after 10 p.m., being gay, any type of drug-related activity, and more.
Additional Safety Tips
While abroad, book with reputable hotels and only take excursions with established tour companies. Take cabs from well-known businesses avoid hailing cabs on the street. Have your hotel concierge call the cab company for you. This is a great way to establish an official record of your travel with the cab company. Never let your cabbie take you places off the meter, which may lead to an argument about being under paid, or, worse, he might lead you to criminal groups intending to do you harm.
Avoid taking pictures of sensitive cultural sites or government buildings. It’s a good practice to ask for permission. Keep in mind you might get some cool pictures of things you’re not supposed to, only to later have your mobile phone taken by customs officers who discover the pictures as you are leaving the country. Not good.
Always dress appropriately for the country you are in and the climate you will encounter. Consider modesty (I always prefer neutral colors). Learn a few polite greetings and phrases. Avoid public intoxication and behavior that will attract the attention of the authorities. Avoid using military surplus gear and clothing especially in countries with insurgencies or unrest. You don’t need to become confused with being a supporter of a hostile group or being suspected a mercenary.
In the early 1990s, the Chiapas revolt in Mexico resulted in a few unexpected and less than comfortable detentions of foreigners by the authorities. The revolt was a green light for the police and military to stop, search and question foreigners suspected of going to support the Chiapas revolutionaries.
It’s currently in vogue to participate in lock sport in the U.S. (i.e., picking locks for fun).
There are also well-meaning companies selling lock pick sets and escape tools for people to use during unlawful detentions, such as a kidnapping. This isn’t to suggest you don’t travel with a plan to deal with a potential kidnapping. However, carrying tools that are clearly to defeat locks and restraints can, if found, result in your being suspected of being a criminal. Or worse, possessing tools used by spies and mercenaries. It’s best to pack everyday items, which can in a pinch be converted to picks and shims. And if you plan to bring items such as bobby pins have an alibi for why you have certain items in your possession.
Intel Gathering
When traveling abroad always assume you are under observation (this might include your hotel room). Today more than ever, even in the third world, there are cameras and police everywhere. Plan on, at some point, encountering someone seeking to know more about you and your reasons for being in their country. It could just be a taxi driver, curious and looking to accommodate you, but it can also be someone intending to develop intelligence on you to commit a crime.
Sadly, governments and criminal groups either pose as taxi drivers, or employ people in the tourist industry to identify targets or threats. It’s always good to be friendly, polite, and nonthreatening with strangers. It’s also good to have an alibi to use that can stand up to scrutiny. For example, when I was traveling back when I worked in law enforcement, when asked what I did back home, I claimed to work with a nonprofit organization whose goal was to help the people of the country I was traveling in. Of course, use an alibi you know well. For this example, I had worked previously for a nonprofit organization, so it was an easy sell. This was a much better option than explaining I was an FBI Agent on vacation.
In many countries, law enforcement and intelligence officers are synonymous, and the belief is intelligence officers are never on vacation. So, if you have a sensitive job such as military, law enforcement, or you work for a cleared contractor that makes weapons, it might be good to have an alibi that isn’t as startling or controversial. Also, avoid using anything with company or agency logos that might betray your story.
Getting Detained or Arrested
Getting rolled up (i.e. arrested) is not hard to do in some cases. If you do get detained or arrested for whatever reason, make sure you respectfully ask to speak with a representative from the U.S. Embassy. Never sign anything that might result in charges being formalized against you that the U.S. will not be able to assist you with. If the U.S. does help, you might still be in hot water because crimes abroad might still be prosecuted in the U.S., especially if the foreign laws violated are also a violation of U.S. law. But it’s been my experience that our prison accommodations are preferred worldwide. You decide.
Post Travel Steps
Change passwords used abroad
Tell doctor about recent travel
Continue preventive meds (e.g., malaria pills)
Watch for symptoms; report with travel context
Share travel doctor contact info if needed
Homeward Bound
So, you have returned home without a hitch. You have great stories, pictures, and memories. Remember the situational awareness we talked about? There is still work to be done to ensure your travel, or your health, wasn’t compromised. Upon return to the U.S. consider changing passwords for accounts used during your travels as a safety precaution.
Advise your primary care physician of your recent travel. Continue taking prescribed medicines such as malaria pills in accordance with the medical guidance your doctor gave you.
Should you suddenly begin to show any symptoms of illness it is important for your symptoms to be viewed in context with recent travel to insure proper diagnosis. You might even share the name and number of your travel doctor you might have used during your pretravel preparations. They will be in a great position to help sort out your diagnosis with their knowledge of endemic diseases in the region you were in.
I enjoy travel. I enjoy it even more if there is some risk involved. But I like calculated risk rather than depending on sheer luck to get back. While serving in the U.S. Marines my sniper team’s motto was, “Always Make It Hard to Hurt You!” This is what I call a mindset rule. If you keep these things in mind, you eventually begin to integrate and adapt techniques, which then become your lifestyle — a lifestyle that will give you confidence and real skills to prevent you, your family, and friends from being victims of any kind. Safe travels!
About the Author
Phillip Irizarry is a Marine Corps veteran of 10 years, having served both in the reserves and active duty from 1981 to 1990 as a Motor Transport Operator, Infantry Rifleman, and a Marine Scout Sniper. He also served 28 years as a Special Agent with the FBI. While serving with the FBI he worked a variety of assignments including drugs, violent crimes, public corruption, healthcare, fraud, counter terrorism and kidnapping investigations. His duties included SWAT operations, undercover operations, crisis/hostage negotiation, and firearms instruction. Phillip has been a volunteer and is currently Board Chair for Operation First Response since 2007, providing peer support for wounded veterans, caregivers, police officers, and first responders. In his down time, he enjoys adventure travel, primitive skills, bushcraft, and family time with his wife, children, grandchildren, and dogs.
Imagine you wake at two in the morning to the sound of breaking glass. Your heart races. In a split second your brain goes into overdrive: you worry about your family, defending your home, and the safety of the people you love. You jump out of bed, grab your weapon, and move through a house you know like the back of your hand. In the living room you see the silhouette of a figure who is too large to be one of your loved ones. You turn on your weapon light. A pistol is raised toward you and a shot rings out — it misses to the left. You raise your weapon, present, engage, fire three shots, and the intruder drops to the ground. You move forward cautiously, weapon trained on the body, check for a pulse, confirm they are dead, take a breath, and then the adrenaline dump hits: your hands start to shake. You call 911 and let the system do its work.
That entire scenario — the way your brain and body respond — is what we will explore. Today, we look at the science behind a home-defense encounter involving the use of deadly force. We will break down how your body and mind will react and the neuroscience of extreme stress responses. This information can help civilians and first responders prepare for and recover from these intense events.
When your mind perceives a threat, it initiates a biological response meant to help keep you alive.
Primal Neural Mechanisms: Fight, Flight, or Freeze
A home-defense gunfight activates primal neural mechanisms in the human body. These mechanisms affect perception, decision-making, memory, and behavior and are often beyond conscious control. Most people prepare for the physical aspects of home defense: training at the range, choosing an appropriate weapon and caliber for a home environment, and understanding layout and construction hazards. Today, we want to prepare for the neurological and psychological stress responses and understand what happens beyond our technical training.
The 2 a.m. breaking glass is the stimulus that engages the brain’s emergency operating system: the fight, flight, or freeze response. The amygdala — the brain’s fear and threat center — can be “hijacked.” When it takes over, the brain favors rapid threat detection and reflexive response over slow, rational processing. The amygdala drives reactionary decision-making and triggers chemical changes by activating the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis. For simplification, think of the HPA axis like a thermostat: When it senses danger, the hypothalamus signals the adrenal glands to release adrenaline, which speeds up the body’s reactionary processes.
These neurochemical changes activate the sympathetic nervous system. Heart rate rises, pupils dilate, and blood vessels shift to push blood to core organs and muscles. This suite of neurological and biological events prepares your body for a fight.
Training in high-stress scenarios can help you cope when the amygdala decides to take over.
Time Perception and Sensory Distortions
Startled awake, your fight-or-flight response begins and your brain changes how it processes sensory input. You move down the hall toward the threat, but it may feel like the longest walk of your life. Ambient sounds can seem muffled by rushing blood. Tunnel vision can narrow your visual field, and you may feel detached, as if you are watching yourself rather than acting.
During extreme stress, time perception and sensory distortions are common. A phenomenon called tachypsychia alters time perception — moments can feel stretched. Auditory exclusion (reduced ability to hear) and tunnel vision (loss of peripheral awareness) are neuroprotective physiological responses to threat. You may also experience depersonalization or dissociation because of the adrenaline surge. Understanding these neurophysiological changes can help you maintain composure and an effective protective posture. Mental rehearsal and stress-inoculation training are key to managing these responses.
Fine Versus Gross Motor Skills
As you approach the room, adrenaline courses through your body. Your heart pounds, your hands feel heavy or numb, and small fine-motor tasks become difficult. When you break the threshold and see a silhouette in the window light, you raise the weapon and aim.
Adrenaline impairs fine motor control (manipulating small objects or performing precise tasks) while gross motor skills (large, forceful movements) dominate. This has important training implications. Under stress people do not perform above their training level, they revert to the highest level at which they have been trained. Practice must include weapon manipulation under stress, target acquisition, and a stress-fire routine. Shooting for sport and shooting to survive are different skills. Being accurate at the range does not guarantee competence under life-and-death stress. Design your training and home-defense plans with those differences in mind.
Threat Perception, Bias, and Decision-Making Under Stress
You have a backlit silhouette in your sights. Your heart races, your hands tremble, and thoughts — or the absence of them — move through your brain at lightning speed. You flip on the weapon light and see an unknown person holding a knife. You fire two rounds. The body hits the floor.
The prefrontal cortex is responsible for analytic thinking, impulse control, and moral reasoning. Under extreme stress, the prefrontal cortex can be bypassed by faster, threat-driven circuits. Heuristics — mental shortcuts used for pattern recognition and rapid judgments — can be influenced by prior experience, training, or trauma and may produce bias. Those rapid judgments can mean the difference between a life-saving action and a tragic mistake. Purposeful training that conditions decision-making under stress is essential to mitigate the risks of snap judgments.
The brain also uses rapid decision cycles such as the OODA loop — Observe, Orient, Decide, Act — to speed up responses. Conditioning, scenario-based planning, and realistic training are necessities for anyone who intends to use a firearm for personal defense.
Post-Incident Effects: Memory, Guilt, and PTSD
After the event your ears may ring and you may smell cordite. You turn on the lights, see the body, check for a pulse, and confront a surge of emotion and physiological reaction.
In the aftermath of a shooting, the brain often shows acute stress responses. Memories may be fragmented, distorted, or incomplete. Sometimes false or confabulated memories appear as protective mechanisms. This is one reason eyewitness testimony can be unreliable. Survivors may experience moral injury or survivor’s guilt after taking a life, even when the action was legally and ethically justified. Without appropriate therapeutic measures, acute stress reactions can evolve into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Returning to baseline takes time. Neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine) and hormones (cortisol) must rebalance. Sleep and mood are affected. Memory consolidation and emotional regulation can be impaired. It is imperative to connect with appropriate professionals, allow yourself to rest and process the event, and engage in corrective therapies as needed. Training and mental rehearsal can prepare you to act, but post-incident care is just as important for long-term recovery.
Situations like these are chaotic and overwhelm the senses. The ensuing trauma makes post- incident care a top priority.
Conclusion
A home-invasion gunfight is not only a physical event — it is a neurobiological upheaval. Preparation, training, and mental rehearsals will make you and your family safer. Responsible firearms ownership includes legal knowledge and range practice, but it also requires cognitive and psychological preparation both before and after an incident. Develop a plan that includes pre-incident training and post-incident care for yourself and your family. This is not just a legal issue; it is a psychological and physiological one as well.
About the Author
Kristopher Hasenauer is a board-certified physician assistant and graduated from the Army’s Interservice Physician Assistant Program in 2014. He is a former Special Forces A-Team Member Medical Specialist (18D) and held multiple operational and medical advisory positions within the U.S. Special Operations Command since 2005. Among his numerous endeavors, he is the CEO of Emerald Medical, coordinates training with Gorilla Ammunition, Gorilla Medical, Gorilla Tactical, and runs T1RX.
For some, the holidays and winter months bring more isolation than cheer. The cold months test both body and mind, and survival can depend on more than just firewood and food. Here’s how to protect your mental health when darker months close in.
The first Christmas I spent alone wasn’t in a snow- bound cabin or a remote survival shelter but rather a quiet night alone in my own home. I was on call for emergency mental health crises for my area, while my spouse visited family. I couldn’t travel with her. Outside, the streets were empty, the air dry and sharp, and the sky clouded with that dark “winter gray” that seems to hover from November to March in some states. It was sprinkling wet, fluffy snow, something I would have loved to enjoy with my wife, but, instead, it only deepened my sense of isolation.
Inside, I fought the creeping weight of loneliness with every skill I’d taught my patients. I reminded myself why I’d volunteered for this shift: my coworkers had young children, and I wasn’t going to deprive those kids of Christmas with their parents. But the truth was, the silence pressed in like a heavy snowfall, and I desperately longed for the comfort of loved ones. That same mental battle plays out in survival situations every winter, whether you’re snowed in, cut off from loved ones, or facing the long nights alone in the backcountry.
For many, holiday cheer is hard to come by. It can take a lot of willpower and mental resilience to overcome the blues.
The Holiday Blues
Holidays are usually thought of as times of bright cheer, sharing food and laughs with family, watching children open gifts, and celebrating one’s faith. But for some it can be the exact opposite. In the mental health field, we see a spike in depression, and sometimes, people end their own lives. There are many contributing factors. We know the darkest and longest nights are in December and January, peaking on December 21. The winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. Less sunlight has a direct impact on mood. Sunlight is critical for serotonin production, regulating circadian rhythms (sleep), and stimulating the regions of the brain involved in emotion and reward. Now you know why all therapists preach “get outside and walk at least 30 minutes per day!”
With isolation comes wrestling those inner demons we often ignore during the grind of everyday life.
Additionally, people who have lost loved ones often feel it more acutely during the winter holidays because of constant reminders of love, family and companionship on television, radio, and billboards. It’s a trigger for some that can’t be ignored. Speaking of companionship, have you ever noticed how many contestants on Alone end up tapping out due to the mental strain of missing loved ones? Despite the lone cowboy fantasy in survivalism, humans did not evolve to live in isolation. In my field, there have been numerous studies linking isolation to mental deterioration, depression, hallucinations, and even memory loss. Despite the fantasy, very few would last long living alone in the wilderness. We are more like pack animals than solitary creatures.
One source of the blues we tend to overlook is how the reduced sunlight affects our mood.
My father was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne. In the early 1960s, he was assigned to a unit to be trained for Arctic survival. There are preps that must be made in advance for such an expedition, and these must be acquired in advance. There is also the need for an improvisational mindset, as things don’t always go according to plan. The same is true for all of us trying to survive the emotional toll of dark winter months, grieving during the holidays, or, simply, loneliness.
Not Just “SAD”
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is also common, and likely underdiagnosed. It is a form of depression that follows a seasonal pattern. Symptoms usually begin late fall, and ease in the spring. (Note: there is a summer-pattern SAD as well, but it is much less common.) People who struggle with SAD will experience more days of “low mood,” less interest in things they usually enjoy, fatigue, mental fog, changes in appetite, sleep disruptions, and, in severe cases, thoughts of self-harm.
If you have thoughts about self-harm and difficulty stopping those thoughts, it is important to seek help. A therapist, a pastor, a close friend … tell someone how you are feeling. And, in most of the United States, 988 is now operational as a 24/7 Mental Health Hotline. Even during the holidays, you should be able to reach an empathetic ear from a trained mental health professional. Asking for help is not weakness; it is bravery. I have worked with some of the strongest, hardest men and women in the military and first responder worlds, and it is a courageous act to seek help. You matter.
Staying busy is a way to focus the mind and keep it from wandering down darker paths.
Just as mental preparation is critical, so too are the physical lessons of survival my father passed down to me. When he taught me about Arctic survival, he spoke of long nights in Alaska, and a darkness so deep that even the glow of a cigarette ember could be seen from far away. To prepare for their expedition, the men of his unit trained with local indigenous people. These men taught the soldiers about taking care of their sled dogs, and that on the coldest of nights, they slept with them for shared body warmth. The military also provided survival school instruction from Green Berets who taught the paratroopers that they needed to change their socks every two hours, as even moisture from marching could trigger frostbite. This was part of their preps.
What preps might be needed for surviving a long, cold winter? Or a holiday alone? If you know in advance that the holidays might be challenging for you, or the winter in general, there are steps you can take to prepare.
Since diminished sunlight is a known contributor, it is even more imperative to get that exposure when we can. If possible, consider opening window shades during the day. Let in as much natural light as possible. Go outside during the middle of the day, when the sun is at its peak. If you are at risk for certain skin conditions, take whatever precautions your doctor recommends; wide-brimmed hat, UV sunglasses, sunscreen, etc. Try to get that exposure to fresh air and natural sunlight, even if it feels as cold as an Alaskan winter, for 20 to 30 minutes if possible. In the absence of that, your doctor may even recommend a special sunlamp to use for 20 minutes per day.
While the commercial side of the holidays tends to get the most attention, it’s our interpersonal connections that should be the focus of the season.
Exercise becomes even more important during the winter months and holidays. Many are less active during these times, and we also tend to eat more sweets during the holidays, compounding health issues. There is a direct connection between healthy bodies and healthy minds. Good nutrition and physical activity are both needed for stimulation of the mood-balancing neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine. The Alaskan indigenous peoples, including the Inupiat, Yup’ik, and Athabascan, stay active during the dark winter months by developing a love for outdoor activities, such as mushing (dog sledding).
This can be a good excuse to treat yourself to some quality winter gear that will improve your motivation to get outside and move. I’m a fan of the Baerskin Tactical Hoodie, and who doesn’t appreciate a pair of good hiking boots? Investing in gear that keeps you moving is as important as stocking up on food and firewood. Why not buy yourself a holiday gift? Wrap it up and put it under the tree if you’ll be spending the holidays alone, and open it on the holiday of your choice.
What about isolation? As mentioned above, this is one of the biggest factors affecting mental health during the holidays and winter in general. If you are prone to loneliness or maybe you have lost a loved one, consider volunteering at a local shelter or church. Connecting with others in this way can help fill your heart and curb the loneliness while also assisting others. If you have to work, such as in my example, consider video calling your family or friends and participating remotely. Even a brief online connection with someone can help during these challenging moments.
Exercise plays an enormous role in mental resilience. Even in the cold, getting out and moving will help boost your immune system, and your outlook on life.
Having some plan to stay distracted can also be helpful. In Alaska, my father had orders to follow, tasks to complete, marches to march. A busy mind is a healthy mind. If you know that the holidays are going to be difficult for you, consider planning in advance how you would like to spend that day. Are there projects you have been procrastinating at home? Get what you need in advance and stay busy. Clean out that prepper pantry, reorganize your bug-out bag, sharpen your favorite bushcraft knife. Staying occupied can help. Simply staring out the window and missing your family can make the nights feel even longer and lonelier.
Adapting and Improvising
During his training in Alaska, many men ended up with severe medical issues from frostbite to hypothermia. Food supplies dwindled, making it even harder for the unit to stay warm and motivated. My father told me that those who made it through the entire training had to resist the urge to skip little steps that they were instructed to do, such as changing their socks every two hours. The soldiers had to sleep closer together in minus 34-degree temperatures. Mindset matters as much as gear and training when humans are pushed to the extremes.
We can use humor, reward ourselves, practice gratitude, celebrate small accomplishments as ways to stimulate the brain and curb depressive thoughts. For many, prayer and faith can get them through dark moments when the urge to stay in bed and hibernate becomes strong. For those who live alone, a pet can help stave off the isolation and loneliness. Journaling and creating art can be helpful for stimulating the mood-regulating areas of the brain. Recently, I started experimenting with wood carving. After all, I am a knife collector and hardly need another reason to practice with my tools.
Winter is a great time to explore new activities. Snow and ice-focused sports abound, so get out there and embrace the brisk winter air.
For my patients who are grieving during the holidays, I often encourage them to try to sit with the emotions of grief in small, controlled increments. Numbing out with alcohol will only postpone the grieving process. You can’t drown out grief; intoxication only delays the inevitable. In the field of therapy, there is one known constant for grief: “We must feel it to heal it.” It is normal to have moments of anger, sadness, guilt, and denial during grief. And it is normal to feel these emotions even more intensely during holidays. But we can control this by allowing moments for incremental grieving.
We do this by remembering, not trying to ignore those memories. Try to focus on the happier moments shared, retell funny stories of your loved ones. Rituals such as lighting a candle or putting a loved one’s picture up on the mantel can help to honor them and give space to allow the incremental “feeling” of grief. When we lose a loved one, we never fully heal, but we can learn to move through it and find ways to continue honoring them by living our best life.
Even the Darkest Night Must Yield to Sunrise
Survival is not always about eating a squirrel over a campfire, deep in the wilderness. Survival is about mentally meeting the challenges day to day, even when getting out of bed feels impossible. It is also about recognizing that we all need connection and empathy, that reaching out for help is not weakness but strength.
Soldiers training in arctic warfare understand that staying active plays a key role in keeping spirits raised.
Remember, there are seasons in life, and even dark winters eventually end. What feels like an insurmountable march through a winter storm today will become tomorrow’s memory. One you may look back on with pride for having overcome. I hope your winter, and your holidays, are filled with warm fires, soft snow, and laughter shared with someone. Take care of your mental health — it matters.
About the Author
Tom Sarge is a licensed trauma therapist who works with first responders and veterans. He is also a prepper, survivalist, and content creator. He has been featured on numerous podcasts and in print. You can find him on the YouTube Channels: Prepping With Sarge (@PreppingWithSarge), and The Official Mental Health Matters Channel (@OfficialMentalHealthMatters).
Richard Bottomley, who has worked in Antarctica, says: “Your body knows what it wants! If you’re a chocolate eater, then your brain knows that chocolate is a great source of fats and sugars. When we’re cold, our body metabolizes either stored or consumed sugar. This process produces heat. Chocolate is a good source of simple sugars, which can be easily converted to heat — easier than breaking down stored glycogen from the muscles or liver and much faster than breaking down stored fats.”
There are a lot of reasons why chocolate is a good survival food. It’s energy-dense, providing high-calorie, long-lasting energy from fats and carbohydrates. It also contains protein, vitamins, minerals, and beneficial antioxidants, which support bodily functions and morale. Its high caloric content in a small, portable package makes it a practical, effective source of fuel during emergencies or extended periods without food.
Chocolate in the Field
Ninety percent of the cocoa bean is digestible, comprising 40 percent carbohydrates, 22 percent fat, and 18 percent protein. Chocolate contains substantial amounts of vitamins A, D, B2, as well as vitamin E and K, calcium, thiamine, riboflavin, iron, phosphorus, linoleic acids, and phenylethylamine. For a food that is often regarded as a junk food or pleasure food, it’s really pretty good for you.
A study conducted at the Harvard School of Public Health indicated that people who eat from one to three chocolate bars a month live almost a year longer than those who do not eat chocolate. In fact, chocolate is a quickly assimilated, nourishing energy food. Chocolate was taken on all the American and Soviet space flights, onto all modern battlefields, and it was taken to Mount Everest on the Hillary expedition. Chocolate goes with many backpackers, hikers, and hunters on their field trips. And because chocolate is compact and long-lasting, it’s also an ideal item for your food storage and possible barter.
Which type of chocolate should one choose? For survival purposes, dark chocolate is preferable to milk or white chocolate, because it contains a higher percentage of cocoa, fewer additives and sugars, and a greater concentration of beneficial antioxidants.
The cacao plant.
Composition of Chocolate Products
TYPE
CALORIES (per oz)
FAT (%)
PROTEIN (%)
Bitter (dark). No sweeteners added.
197
55
10
Bittersweet. Must contain at least 35% chocolate liquor.
170
45
7
Sweet. Must contain at least 15% chocolate liquor and no more than 12% milk solids.
162
35
4
Milk. Must contain at least 10% chocolate liquor and at least 12% milk solids.
150
30
5
Cocoa (powder). All cocoa butter removed.
121
15
18
[Source: University of Calif, Berkeley Wellness Letter]
In Yucatan, Mexico, the Maya regard the cacao pod as sacred. Here is a chocolate ceremony, conducted at the farm.
Not All Chocolate Is the Same
Chocolate pods are produced on a smallish tree, grown and harvested in a region 20 degrees below and above the equator. The pods — maybe a foot long — contain white beans. Once picked, these beans are allowed to ferment for a few days or longer, whereupon they take on their characteristic chocolate aroma and brown color. Once dried, the beans are then exported and typically processed with modern machinery. However, it is certainly possible to process your own, as it’s often done today in Mexico.
During the normal manufacturing process, the beans are first “conched,” which means that heat and grinding pressure are applied to produce a thick liquid called chocolate liquor. When this chocolate liquor hardens, bitter — or baker’s — chocolate is the result. This is indeed bitter, and most people don’t care for it as is since it has no sweetness.
When this baker’s chocolate is then subjected to great pressure, both a liquid and solid result. The liquid is cocoa butter, and the solid is cocoa. Cocoa butter added back to baker’s chocolate in greater amounts results in bitter-sweet, semi-sweet, or sweet chocolate, three more grades or types of chocolate. The addition of milk creates milk chocolate. Sugar, vanilla, and various other ingredients are often also be added. Some of the “designer” chocolates can have hot chilis added, as well as a great variety of nuts, raisins, and even dried fruits.
White chocolate, however, is a misnomer. If a product contains no cocoa, it’s simply not chocolate. Cocoa is the absolute necessary ingredient of any true chocolate product. So-called “white chocolate” is made from the cocoa butter, but because it contains no cocoa, it is technically not chocolate at all. And, in some cases, if they didn’t even use cocoa butter, but just some cheaper oils, it has no business being called any kind of chocolate.
The pod that produces the chocolate seeds.
Since there are so many factors from start to finish, no two chocolate products have the exact same properties. In other words, when you try to answer the question “Is chocolate good or bad for me?” you cannot do so without precisely defining what you mean by “chocolate.” Chocolate really can be good for you, though the products which add white sugar are typically not ideal for your health. Fortunately, when you read medical studies of various “good” or “bad” effects from chocolate, they usually tell you what type of chocolate was fed to the test subjects, and, in some cases, the brand of chocolate as well.
Chocolate can be fattening if you consume a lot and are sedentary. A small 12-ounce candy bar typically contains about 220 calories. The raw bean does contain high amounts of theobromine and caffeine, but these oil-soluble stimulating alkaloids are largely lost during the processing. An average ounce of bittersweet chocolate contains from 5 to 10mg of caffeine, compared with 100 to 150mg of caffeine in an average cup of coffee. As for cavities, at least three separate research centers have revealed that the cocoa powder within chocolate contains a substance that actually inhibits cavities.
A pile of ripe organic Cacao fruit ready to be processed into chocolate, at a farm near the City of Comalcalco, Tabasco State, Mexico.
Pharmaceutically Active Compounds In Chocolate
Serotonin
A neurotransmitter that plays a role in regulating mood. Though found in chocolate, it’s found in much higher amounts in other carbohydrates.
Caffeine
This stimulant is found in very small amounts in chocolate.
Theobromine
Cocoa beans are about 2% theobromine, a central nervous system stimulator, which stimulates and dilates the blood vessels of the heart and brain, and dilates the bronchi of the lungs.
Phenylethylamine
An amphetamine-like substance, also found in the brains of people “in love.” Though found in chocolate, it’s found in much higher amounts in meats, such as salami.
Polyphenols
These antioxidants (also found in green tea and red wine) may prevent heart disease by preventing the clogging or arteries and lowering cholesterol levels.
Cannabinoids
These chemicals, which are the active ingredients in marijuana, are found in very small amounts in chocolate and may influence the brain’s own production of painkilling compounds. By “very small amounts,” you’d have to eat about 22,000 pounds of chocolate to have any drug-like response.
[Source: University of Calif, Berkeley Wellness Letter]
A woman at a Mexican chocolate farm shows how to make a fresh drink from the seeds of cacao.
Hard Truths About Sugar
The culprit in the case of cavities is not chocolate, but sugar. Milk chocolate, for example, contains 55 percent sugar by weight. And, most often, chocolate is made with white sugar, a substance that can affect you physiologically in a way similar to cocaine. In most cases, the worst thing about chocolate is that it can contain too much white sugar, depending on the type. Most commercial chocolate products list white sugar (in any of its various guises) as the primary ingredient.
One way to sidestep the detrimental effects of so much white sugar in chocolate is to make your own chocolate products by mixing cocoa (or bitter or baker’s chocolate) with honey or other natural sweeteners. There are a few commercial chocolate bars which contain no white sugar, but these are not yet common, and cost up to three times as much as others with white sugar.
An Indonesian orchard of cocoa being harvested.
Negotiate With Nibs
Talk to anyone who’s lived through hard times, and they’ll tell you that certain basic commodities were hard to get. This usually includes such items as coffee, sugar, tobacco, alcohol, and, yes, chocolate. These might seem like vices, but chocolate is the best of the batch, and you’d be able to trade chocolate for other items you need. After all, who doesn’t like chocolate?
Unless you live in the tropics, you won’t be growing your own chocolate. Stock up and store it in a cool dry place. Don’t store it high up in an uninsulated cupboard. Once during a heat wave of over 100 degrees F, I found that all my chocolate had melted. At the time, I’d been storing chocolate nibs in glass jars, so I was left with a block of solid chocolate in each jar. If you purchase the unsweetened nibs — a good choice — store it in a solid container and keep it all wrapped. Store it in the basement if you have one, or in a low spot since heat rises.
Unsweetened baking chocolate is perhaps one of the best ways for chocolate storage. It will keep the longest, and since it is unsweetened, you can melt or shred it and use it any way you wish. The unsweetened blocks are also of a uniform size and are ideal for trading. If you don’t want to bother with the unsweetened chocolate, 85 percent cocoa would be a good next choice in the sense of versatility and trade value. Chocolate, properly stored, lasts almost indefinitely. In time, it develops a white coating and gets harder, but is still edible.
Divine Energy
I made an authentic chocolate drink by steeping the coarsely ground beans of the chocolate plant in warm water and adding a little honey. If historians are correct, this was the type of beverage called “xocoatl,” the drink that famous Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortez found the Aztec emperor Montezuma drinking. I found that once the whole beans were ground and made into a beverage, the drink had the color of weak coffee and was a bit oily. It had a pleasant bitter-chocolate flavor. My experience was that one cup seemed as stimulating as two to three cups of coffee.
Montezuma believed chocolate to be a food of the gods, which was brought to the Aztecs by a healer or prophet who traveled over the waters, possibly Quetzalcoatl. To this day, chocolate is known to botanists as Theobroma, or “food of the gods.” It was widely regarded as an aphrodisiac, a food that gave Montezuma the strength to deal with his many wives. Chocolate is a valuable energy food for active individuals. As with coffee, tea, and even tobacco, chocolate has the ability to enhance our lives when consumed moderately.
Cocoa beans (aka nibs) drying in the sun in the Philippines.
Recipes
Traditional Champurrado Beverage
4 cups masa
2 pieces Mexican chocolate
2 tablespoons carob powder (optional)
Dash of sea salt
½ cup Alta Dena eggnog (or other health-quality eggnog)
Warmed in pot, after chocolate has cooled to approximately 120 degrees F, add 1 cup milk.
2 cups water
Mud Balls
3 cups uncooked quick-cooking oats
6 tablespoons grated dark chocolate
½ cup dry milk
½ teaspoon sea salt (optional)
1 cup currants or raisins
½ cup chunky peanut butter
½ cup raw honey
2 teaspoon vanilla
Put the oats, cocoa, dry milk, and salt into a bowl. Mix well. Add the remaining ingredients and mix together. Mix thoroughly. Then, with a tablespoon of the mix at a time, roll into a ball with your hands. Put into a serving plate and serve. [Recipe developed by vegan chef Prudence Boczarski.]
Shavings
Purchase hard baker’s chocolate. Using a cheese grater, grate some over coffee, hot cereal, or ice cream.
Auxiliary Manufacturing has done a great job translating the fixed blade version of the Pocket Bowie into a practical folder that is designed to tackle the same tasks. While folding knives have their inherent limitations when it comes to some hard-use tasks, neither the original fixed blade or the folding version of the Pocket Bowie were designed to be a hard-use survival knives — both are designed to be capable EDC knife with some viable self-defense features and both variants deliver in a big way.
The Pocket Bowie became an instant classic thanks to the ergonomic handle design, aggressive piercing point, compact size, and surprising utilitarian functionality in everyday tasks. This led to several new knives including the larger Pocket Bowie XL and several different blade styles using the Pocket Bowie’s coffin-shaped handle. The innovation did not stop there, and Jarvis unveiled the latest version of his Pocket Bowie at BLADE Show Atlanta 2025: the Pocket Bowie Folding Knife.
Make & Model: Auxiliary Manufacturing Pocket Bowie Folder
The Pocket Bowie Folder design incorporates many of the unique elements found in Auxiliary Manufacturing’s fixed blade Pocket Bowie that made it so popular — including the iconic coffin handle shape, aggressive piercing point, and utilitarian blade grind. Jarvis packs these popular features into a premium folding knife that is as classy looking as it is functional.
The Pocket Bowie Folder has a very similar footprint when compared to the original handmade Pocket Bowie fixed blade.
The Pocket Bowie Folder has a remarkably similar footprint to its fixed blade predecessor, coming in roughly a quarter-inch longer for a total length of 6.53 inches. The 2.77-inch clip-point blade is made from premium M390 steel known for both its exceptional edge retention and corrosion resistance. The blade is available in either an uncoated satin finish or a durable black diamond like coating (DLC).
The jimping on the blade allows for superior grip and control when doing detailed work.
The handle is made from aircraft-grade titanium with milled texture pattern. Depending on the variant, the Pocket Bowie Folder handle comes with either a Micarta or carbon-fiber inlay. The lock side features a titanium pocket clip that can be moved to the “show side” to accommodate left-handed users.
When closed, the Pocket Bowie Folder is compact and the blade is easily deployed with the flipper tab.
The Pocket Bowie Folder’s blade is deployed using a flipper tab. When flipped open the blade hits an over-travel stop pin, and a frame-lock mechanism will keep the blade open when in use. The frame lock features a steel reinforcement bar that prevents premature wear on the titanium frame when contacting the back of the blade — while unlikely, the lock bar insert can be replaced if damaged or worn down.
Proven Design Features
Just looking at the Pocket Bowie Folder, it is clearly a good-looking knife, but all these features go well beyond good looks — they provide excellent functionality in both everyday use and self-defense scenarios.
The Pocket Bowie Folder is an excellent addition to any functional EDC setup.
The Blade
Clip-point blades are known for their ability to pierce, and more specifically their efficiency in piercing body tissue — which is why clip points are commonly found on both hunting and combat knives. Naturally, a clip point is a good choice for a self-defense knife, but the trade off from that piercing prowess is a more delicate tip when compared to more utilitarian-tip styles. Jarvis combats this with the long swooping swedge that begins just after the blade’s thumb rest. While at first glance this may look like a purely stylistic decision, the swedge helps provide a bit more material to reinforce the tip without negatively impacting its piercing performance.
The blade grind features an upward sweep toward the front providing a good length of belly that makes slicing tasks easier — yet another reason why bowie-style blades can often be found in hunting knives. While most of us will not find ourselves processing game with a folding knife, most of us will perform slicing tasks on a regular basis and it is good to have a capable backup meat-processing blade when venturing into the wilderness.
When it comes to steel, M390 is an excellent choice for folding knives, as it has excellent retention and corrosion resistance. While not as tough as some carbon steel options, it is more than tough enough to handle folding knife tasks. As with all steel types, there are trade-offs for the benefits. While M390 features excellent edge retention, it is more difficult to sharpen than carbon steel and lower-end stainless steel options. M390 is also more costly and harder to machine, which drives the overall cost of producing the knife up.
The Pocket Bowie Folder is part of Auxiliary Manufacturing’s Deadhead series, which features production versions of iconic handmade models.
The Handle
The Pocket Bowie’s coffin-shaped handle is another feature that is not just for aesthetics. With a relatively short handle, some people will have a hard time getting a full grip on the Pocket Bowie. Thankfully, the well-thought-out handle alleviates any potential issues as the wide butt end of the handle locks into the meat of your palm, providing positive retention and control in a variety of utilitarian and defensive grip styles.
When it comes to handle material, titanium is often the choice among high-end folders. Some of the advantages are obvious, such as it is lighter than steel and more durable than aluminum, wood, and polymer. Like the choice of steel, titanium is not without its drawbacks, as it is more costly when compared to other handle material choices and can show surface scratches more readily than other materials.
Mechanical Performance
The flipper tab opening of the Pocket Bowie folder allows for a quick one-handed opening, an important feature when considering a folding knife for self-defense or emergency use. Like most flippers, the blade is held shut when not in use by a detent ball that requires a certain amount of force to “break” the hold. The detent on the Pocket Bowie is a bit on the stiffer side, meaning a bit more force needs to be applied to the flipper tab to open it. It is not so stiff that it is difficult to open, but if you are not familiar with flipper tab knives, it will take some time to get the process down — but like anything you should train with your tool. The lock engages smoothly and is easy to disengage one handed with a bit of practice. The included lock bar insert is a welcome addition, as it will extend the life of the lock bar over time of repeated opening and closing and ensure the lockup is solid for years to come.
Practical Applications
The Pocket Bowie Folder is an excellent EDC knife that could be relied upon in a self-defense situation in properly trained hands. The lightweight nature and compact size of the Pocket Bowie Folder make it easy to carry in nearly all everyday situations. Its premium fit and finish allow it to fit in well in public places and does not give off the appearance of being a tactical knife at first glance.
From a performance standpoint the blade is more than capable of tackling any typical daily tasks you could throw at it. The Pocket Bowie Folder came sharp out of the box and cut through cardboard, cordage, and assorted plastic packaging with ease — all while maintaining a great edge through months of daily use.
When looking at self-defense applications the Pocket Bowie Folder is well suited for the task. In pocket it is unassuming and discreet. The blade, while just shy of 3 inches, provides a clip point that is designed for piercing. Blade deployment is fast and deliberate with no finger slip on the flipper tab thanks to the jimping. The Pocket Bowie Folders’ handle locks into the palm well to ensure positive retention during high pressure situations.
Final Thoughts
The Pocket Bowie Folder packs in exceptional design features for its intended purpose coupled with high-end materials and excellent fit and finish that make it a solid fit for just about any user. It is small enough to be carried in most jurisdictions, and it is unassuming in the pocket that I would feel completely comfortable carrying into a business meeting.
Ultimately, the Pocket Bowie Folder is a great option for anyone who is looking for a solid EDC Knife that can also double as a discreet and functional self-defense option. It is an impressive first folding knife for Auxiliary Manufacturing, and it is just the beginning as plans for additional variants like an XL version, a slip joint variant, and a budget-oriented option coming in the next year.
Ah, the holidays. They have a funny way of amplifying whatever we’re feeling. For some, they bring the scent of pine and cinnamon, the glow of string lights reflected in eager eyes, and that undeniable buzz of excitement that only this time of year can conjure. For others, the same season stirs up something heavier — a nostalgia that stings more than it soothes, or a stress that feels like it’s closing in from all sides. Love it or hate it, none of us come through December untouched.
This time of year magnifies our experiences, our memories, and our needs, both practical and emotional. If you’re traveling, whether it’s a cross-country road trip or a cramped flight to see family, the season demands a heightened awareness. There’s the need to stay alert, to keep your defenses sharp and your mind clear in the midst of the chaos. But there’s also a different kind of awareness that’s just as critical: noticing how you’re feeling, acknowledging your limits, and protecting your peace as fiercely as you protect your loved ones.
And if you’re staying home this season — perhaps by choice, perhaps by circumstance — that requires its own kind of strength. The silence of the holidays can echo differently when it’s just you and your thoughts. It’s a time that tests your mental resilience and your ability to find comfort in your own company. There’s a quiet kind of survival in that, too — one that often goes unspoken but is every bit as real as any wilderness challenge.
In this issue, we wanted to explore what “survival” really looks like during the holidays. Yes, there’s the practical side of preparedness, and we’ve got plenty of that. In “Gear Up – RECOIL OFFGRID’s Sleigh,” we’ve rounded up some smart, reliable gift ideas for the self-reliant folks in your life. Alongside the gear, we’re debuting a new rating system to help you gauge how dependable a piece of equipment truly is. After all, the holidays are full of surprises, your gear shouldn’t be one of them.
Licensed trauma therapist Tom Sarge offers some grounded, compassionate advice for navigating the emotional terrain of the holiday season. His insights on coping with the holiday blues are a reminder that it’s OK to step back, breathe, and care for yourself, even when the world is telling you to keep up appearances.
Then, there’s a sweeter kind of survival in Christopher Nyerges’ contribution. A newcomer to our pages, he explores the unexpected ways chocolate can serve both as comfort and sustenance, blending the practical with the pleasurable. His recipes are simple, nourishing, and just the thing to remind you that even small indulgences can have a place in a life of preparedness.
And for those facing the biting cold, Nicholas Italiano brings us practical, no-nonsense advice for staying warm when the mercury drops. His piece is a timely reminder that survival begins with the basics, protecting your body’s core, respecting the elements, and never underestimating how quickly conditions can change.
When you put it all together, this issue is really about the many forms of endurance — the physical, yes, but also the emotional, the psychological, and even the spiritual. The holidays can test all of these. They ask us to balance joy with grief, generosity with boundaries, connection with solitude. And through it all, we adapt, prepare, and persist.
So, whether you’re out on the road or tucked in at home, I hope you find something in these pages that helps you navigate the season with a little more clarity and confidence. Maybe it’s a new tool for your pack, or maybe it’s a new perspective that helps lighten the weight you’ve been carrying.
From all of us here, I want to wish you not just a happy holiday, but a grounded one. Make this a season where you can truly breathe, take stock, and care for yourself and those around you.
In the year of our lord 2025, to see another backpack review is somewhat unexciting. More pockets, less pockets, marginal material improvements, fancy colors, minor frame style tweaks, it’s an endless series of copy/paste from years prior, or fads that never really catch on. One would think that something as figured out as the humble backpack had reached its peak. Even more so when they’re designed to carry a rifle due to the inherent form factor of incorporating a scabbard. However, one company found a way to buck the trends and produce something that I had initially written off until I strapped my rifle in, threw it on my back, and started putting in the miles.
About Skili Gear
Skili Gear was founded by Ernie Robinson, an automotive industry professional and avid outdoorsman after seeing the first field-made pack that a friend of his — a Navy SEAL sniper and team leader — stitched together by hand in the desert to solve real-world problems he was having with traditional packs. After four years of prototypes, incremental improvements, and testing in real-world operations, Ernie’s efforts culminated in the decision to launch Skili Gear at SHOT Show 2024.
Various accessory pockets and pouches are available from magazine pouches, a Kestrel holder, and a few different sizes and designs of zippered pouches.
Currently, they offer two models: the Phantom and Ghost. The main difference between the two is overall size. The Ghost is the larger of the two at 30 liters of zippered storage space, and more padding around the hip straps and lumbar for better comfort and control of heavier loads. The Phantom is roughly 15 liters of zippered storage, omits the lumbar support of the larger model, and weighs in at 3.5 pounds empty. The larger Ghost adds space and comfort at the expense of weight and comes in at 4.5 pounds empty. That’s half the weight of the pack I had been using, which is at slightly over 9 pounds empty. When putting in miles, weight on your shoulders matters.
Unpacking the Packs
Both packs resemble what I would describe as a cross between a drag bag and backpack, but simplified. Opening the Skili Gear pack is as simple as unclipping a central cinch strap and running a single large zipper to expose what they describe as an eight-layer Tegris attachment panel, supported internally by a removable 3/8-inch aluminum frame. This Tegris panel is made from a woven thermoplastic and features slots comparable to a MOLLE panel. This provides an endless number of combinations for the two provided rifle straps and any other accessories you can thread through the slots in the panel. The basic strap configuration includes two, coated steel G-clips, however different clip styles are available depending on your needs.
Rifles, bows, ropes, anything you can strap to the Tegris panel is attached either by included G-clips or this upgraded option, and a simple tug on the pull string releases the buckle for fast access.
Opposite the Tegris panel is a zippered compartment lined with hook-and-loop material for any number of optional pouches for magazines, a Kestrel, or various sizes of additional organizational bags that are easily organized to each user’s requirements and removable when needed. Once set up, strapping your rifle to the pack and closing it up is a simple affair if you’re at all familiar with basic clips and zippers, and if conditions dictate a hasty exit, you can simply strap your rifle in, fold the pack closed, grab the two handles on the right side and go. Once the pack is closed, two main front pockets are obvious, roomy, and incorporate more loop liner for additional pouches, dividers, or just a soft environment to protect things like binocular optics. The lower pocket has an external MOLLE panel sewn to it, which I used to attach an IFAK so it’s as obvious and accessible as possible to everyone when I’m out instructing. On the left exterior of the pack is a water bottle sleeve. However, thanks to the two pack cinch straps located above it and the pack’s rugged material selection, this sleeve can easily be used to carry a tripod, and I found that I often do. Both pack models include provisions for CamelBak-style hydration bladders, so there’s no anxiety about using water space for tripod carrying.
Access to your rifle and accessories is accomplished with one large, easy-to-manipulate zipper.
At first glance, the shoulder straps appear to be thin and under-padded. However, under load and on the trail, they’re hardly noticeable, especially when the hip strap is used to take some of the weight thanks to their width and clever padding placement. They are shaped in such a way that they don’t interfere with any bino harness I’ve managed to get ahold of. The pack is constructed of 500D Cordura (laminated where necessary) and heavy-duty Nylon with materials like closed-cell foam providing padding and the aforementioned eight-layer Tegris panel. Skili Gear maintains Berry compliance in their products, which dictates that the Department of Defense and Department of Homeland Security utilize materials sourced and constructed domestically, bringing a truth to the words “Made in USA” — unfortunately, a rare claim in this day and age.
My Instructor Bag
At my Modern Field Rifleman event — a 2-mile hike meets long-range shooting class held in the rolling hills of Los Olivos, California — I opted for the larger Ghost model. Actual use of the pack during the class proved it to be versatile, with myself and multiple students sporting both models across several different rifle platforms. This included everything from 14.5-inch AR-15’s to heavier 24-inch AR-10s, and my 7SAW bolt gun.
Thanks to the pack’s low-profile design, using it as a support bag is easy and practical.
Coming from a larger scabbard-style backpack to the Skili Gear made me reevaluate some gear choices. This process highlighted how much extra I had been carrying that I had never used or was redundant. As an instructor, I never felt like I was missing something I couldn’t fit into this pack. I was grateful for the reduced bulk while moving through the brush and between shooting positions. Rifle deployment was quick and simple due to the reduced overall bulk of the pack. At times, the pack offered a simple solution to use as a shooting bag off tree limbs or rocks. The internal aluminum frame retained its usefulness when stood vertically as a rear rifle support as well.
Final Thoughts
According to Skili Gear, their packs are currently in the hands of multiple Tier-1 Special Operations forces, both domestic and foreign. I know of two SWAT snipers who have been using the Phantom pack exclusively as part of their rapid-deployment kit, and they sing high praise of its usefulness. It’s currently offered in five different color patterns with short runs of additional patterns to come (I think it looks especially sharp in M81). Costs for each pack before options are $459 for the Phantom and $599 for the Ghost.
The author uses the external MOLLE panel to attach a med kit. Thanks to the aluminum frame and clever use of padding, the pack is comfortable and negotiates terrain easily.
After using this pack the last couple Modern Field Rifleman classes, I can confidently say that unless for some reason I need the expanded internal storage space of the heavier pack I had been using, that this will be my field shooting pack moving forward. Its minimalist approach makes moving through the environment a joy, while maintaining both solid control of my rifle and rapid deployment when needed. Ernie has alluded that there are new products on the horizon for Skili Gear that will continue to challenge traditional form factors and utilize modern materials. I’m excited to see them grow and evolve.
About the Author
Ryan Burns has been a shooter his whole life, competing in PRS, USPSA, and Multigun. Taking up firearms instruction, his goal is to make smarter, more proficient shooters and break the mold on firearms instruction techniques. Find out more details about his training events at southcoastlonggunner.com, and follow him on social media: @southcoast_longgunner.
Vanquest is a small U.S. based company that specializes in making top quality soft goods including backpacks, slings bags, and organization pouches. Beyond having a passion for excellent craftsmanship, each piece of gear Vanquest designs has a goal of providing solutions for common gear hauling problems. The IBEX series is a perfect example of the Vanquest ethos.
The IBEX series is available in a 26 and 35-liter options – as I was using this for my Get Home Bag I opted for the 26-liter option to avoid over packing. At first glance the IBEX looks similar to many hiking style packs with its tall narrow design, waist belt, and numerous external gear mounting options. This design style is ideal for safely managing a heavier pack as the weight is better distributed and the hip belt allows the weight of the pack to be taken off your shoulders and moved to stronger muscles groups in your hips and legs. The shift in weight off your shoulders improves balance, reduces fatigue, and decreases the likelihood of muscle strain injuries. Like high quality hiking packs, the IBEX has excellent padding on the straps and a stiff but breathable back for structure and comfort.
Above:The high quality YKK zippers combined with Spartan Loops makes opening and closing the pack a breeze.
What makes the Vanquest IBEX unique is that it successfully blends the comfort and safety of a well-designed hiking pack with the toughness and organizational benefits often found in tactical style packs. Unlike traditional hiking packs which employ a thin lightweight nylon, the IBEX is primarily built with ultra durable Cordura nylon that is both wear and tear resistant. The external Molle Panels are made from Hypalon which is resistant to the elements, continuous UV rays, and chemicals. Vanquest uses high quality YKK zippers paired with Spartan zipper pulls that make rapidly opening or closing the pack easy in high stress situations.
Above:The side pockets of the IBEX feature bright ripstop nylon interior and a loop panel for adding accessories.
In addition to the Molle panels that pouches or gear can be lashed to, the exterior offers two pockets on either side that can house quick access items and even expand to fit larger items. The pockets contain hook and loop panels where optional accessory pouches can be added. The top of the pack offers one large pocket that also can provide access to the main compartment without having to unzipper the whole pack. The exterior also offers a number of attachment points that can be used to lash on items like trekking poles and hatchets.
Above:The interior offers a generous back pocket that also has loop /molle webbing for adding pouches and organizers.
The main compartment offers one opaque zipper compartment and a pocket a zipper providing secondary access to the top exterior pocket. There is a back pocket that can easily fit a laptop or water bladder, and molle/hook and loop attachment points for additional organization pouches.
Vanquest IBEX-26 Real World Performance
Under heavy load the IBEX-26 is one of the most comfortable packs I have carried both in urban and wilderness scenarios. The design works exactly as it should, distributing weight to the hips and legs, significantly reducing muscle strain and fatigue during all day carry.
Above:The thick waist straps offer support and provide attachment points for quick access gear.
The IBEX materials held up well to the elements. While not entirely waterproof, while trekking during light rain and short periods of moderate rain the water resistant Cordura did a good job of my interior items safe and dry.
The organizational features of the IBEX are excellent. The built-in pockets provide plenty of room to organize your essential items that remain in the pack no matter how you are using it, while the ability to attach pouches via hook and loop or Molle webbing allow for quick and easy roll changes based on your activities. Having the ability to know where items are for ease of access is far better when compared to cavernous main compartment typically found in a hiking style bag.
Above: The back padding of the IBEX offers comfort and breathability under heavy loads.
While the IBEX is packed with the features that you normally find in a tactical style bag its design gives it a low-profile appearance, so it easily blends in with any other hiking style pack in the wilderness or the day packs found in urban areas.
When carrying lighter loads or trying to maintain a low profile the hip belt can be stowed or removed all together.
Final Thoughts
The Vanquest team truly brought the best of two worlds together when designing the IBEX Series. By combining the low-profile nature and load bearing prowess of a hiking pack with the durability and organizational features of a tactical pack, Vanquest has created one of the most versatile packs I have used.
Above:One of the many optional accessories offered by Vanquest that can attach to the loop panels.
Compromises are surprisingly few in the IBEX series. If you are used to a traditional hiking style pack, the only notable drawbacks are the lack of external water bottle pockets and the increased base weight of the pack. Those used to carrying tactical style packs may have to adjust to the difference in weight distribution and accessing gear may not be ask quick without the addition of a few add on organizers. While Vanquest’s IBEX packs are not the most budget friendly option – the innovation, build quality, and versatility are definitely worth the asking price.
Vanquest IBEX-26 Spec Sheet
Capacity: 26 liters
Weight: 3.86 pounds
Frame: Internal
Hardware: YKK Zippers, Duraflex Buckles
Materials: Water Resistant Cordura, Hypalon, Ripstop Nylon
Overall external measurements: 23” (H) x 13.5” (W) x 6.5” (D)
Interior main compartment: 21” (H) x 10.5” (W) x 5.5” (D)
Interior top zipper pocket: 7.5” (H) x 9.5” (W) x 3” (D)
When the lights go out, the rules vanish. 45 Miles of Hell by Stathis El Greco imagines the terrifying aftermath of an EMP strike that erases modern civilization in seconds. What follows is a raw, unflinching tale of survival as one man, Stathis, finds himself cut off from home and everything he loves. Only 45 miles away, yet separated by a city in chaos, his path is filled with gang-ruled streets, desperate survivors, and impossible choices.
This debut survival thriller leans heavily on realism, pulling from the author’s tactical training and military experience to craft a tense and believable scenario. The world is not just dangerous but predatory, forcing survivors to decide who can be trusted and what must be sacrificed. It is as much about the psychology of survival as it is about combat and grit.
The Breakdown
The novel opens with the EMP strike, plunging the modern world into instant ruin. Communication collapses, power is gone, and the fragile structures of order shatter. Stathis, a hardened soldier with survival skills, quickly grasps the reality of the new world. His mission is simple in concept but perilous in execution: Make it home. The challenge lies in the distance, a mere 45 miles that have been transformed into hostile territory.
The characters he encounters define the journey as much as the obstacles themselves. An ex-Marine with his own scars, two police officers bound by duty, and Stathis’ uncle form an unlikely alliance. Each member brings both strengths and flaws, and it is this dynamic that fuels the heart of the story. Trust, loyalty, and betrayal weave into the struggle, making every decision weighty. Readers are reminded that survival is rarely about going it alone; it’s about who stands with you when the world burns.
The gangs that now control the city represent civilization’s fall into primal brutality. Their violence is not just a threat but a constant reminder of how quickly humanity can unravel when consequences vanish. Yet the book does not settle for shallow depictions of “good versus evil.” Instead, it digs into the murky space where morality is tested. Who deserves saving? What lines must be crossed to live another day? These questions resonate long after the last page.
The novel’s pacing is relentless, mirroring the urgency of its world. Each chapter builds tension as the group pushes forward, encountering ambushes, betrayals, and brief moments of fragile respite. The realism of the tactics and survival scenarios ground the action, making the book feel more like a cautionary vision than simple fiction. For readers who crave authenticity in their post-apocalyptic thrillers, this authenticity is one of the novel’s greatest strengths.
The Verdict
45 Miles of Hell delivers a hard-hitting debut in the postapocalyptic survival genre. Its authenticity and grit set it apart, while the characters’ emotional weight prevents it from being just another action-driven tale. The blend of survival tactics, moral dilemmas, and relentless pacing ensures it will grip fans of EMP thrillers, prepper fiction, and gritty urban survival stories.
For readers who enjoy survival thrillers that feel both thrilling and disturbingly plausible, this one is a standout. It is not a comfortable read, but it is a rewarding one. When the lights go out, and the world becomes hostile, 45 Miles of Hell makes you ask the hardest question: How far would you go to make it home?
About the Book
Book & Author: 45 Miles of Hell by Stathis El Greco
